Trying to think

This is an article I read in either Marathi newspaper or some magzine written by a popular Marathi comic writer named Mr. Shirish Kanekar.

(Sorry I forgot the start). . . I remember my son was packing before leaving for US to do his Masters. He washed his hands and couldn’t find the napkin near the wash basin (as usual). He shouted, “Who has taken the napkin from here? Why can’t things be on their places?” It suddenly dawned upon me that my son was leaving this house. He might come and stay here again later but things will never be the same again. This kind of comfort level will never be there. He will be here more as a guest and not as a family member.

I went to see off my son at the airport. I remembered when he was small he had Tonsils (I don’t remember the exact medical problem) due to which he couldn’t eat Ice-cream. He was fond of Ice-cream like most children of his age and we had a hard time refusing him. To pacify him we told him he could eat Ice-cream in the month of May. Once in May he asked me “Will you give me Ice-cream in May?” Those innocent eyes looking expectantly at me had brought tears to my eyes then. I patted him on the back and told him to have a lot of Ice-cream in US.

When a friend recently reminded that after some time she will go abroad for further studies this article jumped in front of me from behind some curtains of memory (bad attempt to write nice words). I find it quite interesting and surprising that I could remember almost the entire thing. I think that’s because I had liked it a lot that time. Maybe it appealed so much to me because this was the first serious sort of article I read of this reputed comic writer. Or maybe because this was a touchy article written from a Dad’s perspective. And then I knew that even men are emotionally attached to such small things. Whatever the reason, the fact remains that basic entity of my life like my house or my family might not be with me is scary. . .  really scary.

When you look forward to something with great anticipation you are disappointed.

When there is a crisis you are tensed and even when things are normal you become paranoid.

You are restless or at peace without no apparent reason.

You have many things to say and still cannot say a thing and sometimes when you have nothing on your mind and still you go on chatting for hours on end.

The most hilarious incidents on which you have laughed for hours never occur when you are having fun but always occur when you are busy.

Your reaction in some situations surprises not only others but you too and then you realize that you have changed or are changing. This realization is followed by other one which says that you are not a constant entity whose opinions or actions will never change. And if you don’t know yourself yet how come others do? Then what are those dialogs “I knew you would do that…”, “That is so typical of you.”

When you explain to people what you do not want to do in life, you realize what you actually want to do.

The songs which you don’t like have beautiful lyrics which you would want to hear again and again.

When you go to some new place for the first you feel you have been here before.