Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ownership?

“Please come from this side Madam. Oh don’t worry that will be fixed soon. By the time you come here everything will be ready.” The builder’s assistant was trying his best to please the couple in his characteristic pleasing tone.


Shanti was washing utensils in the basin when the contractor and the couple entered the flat. She had just finished preparing the lunch for herself and her husband. The couple gave a running glance to the whole room. The husband was not happy with the room’s condition since it was very shabby. The clothes were drying on a string, two open trunks lying in a corner, utensils lying in another corner, this was obviously not the picture he had in mind. The lady did not seem to have much problem. In fact she even gave an understanding smile to Shanti. After scrutinizing the flat for a while the party went away.
 A little later Shanti’s husband returned for lunch. He informed her that the had couple liked the flat and the deal had been finalized. It was then that it dawned upon her that she would be leaving this flat soon. Her stay over here was over. Again a new construction, a new house. She always wondered at this irony about how come people who build houses for others do not have a house for themselves. Not even a hut? When she shut the newly fitted door behind her back she leaned on its surface taking in the smell of paint for a long time. She run her hand on the walls to feel the smoothness of plaster. It’s true that those tenants will never know the difference between a plastered wall and a non-plastered one. They will never know how windows and doors look without frames. She does. But what difference does that make to anyone except her? She still cannot be the owner of the place although she helped create it. To own it she needs to pay the price which she cannot afford. Everything in life comes with a price tag. Sometimes you know what you are paying, sometimes you don’t know.
She then started collecting her belongings.

Posted by Meghan at 09:53:34 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Some Depressing Nonsense

I am tired of all this. I just want to go away from here. I want to live a different life, atleast temporarily. I want to see the other side of human nature which is rash, not sophisticated. I don’t want to people who wish u Good Morning, Good night everyday. I don’t want people who open the door for me, around me. I wish I could switch my soul with someone. Like it happens in movies. Maybe then I will learn to appreciate what I have got in life. My family, my friends etc. But is it really that I do not appreciate these things? I do. But then why am I trying to change the things? Why do I want to go towards unhappiness when the whole world runs behind happiness? Maybe I am tired of smiling.


 

I want to go to a dense forest, all alone. Where I do not have a soul to help or comfort me, not even a stranger. I want to be at the mercy of those wild animals, of the nature which can turn ruthless. I promise I will not complain even if I don’t come back alive. Without any help or consolation clinging to one thread of hope maybe I will realize how precious life is. Then maybe I will learn to appreciate whatever I have. Maybe if I am not able to correct my mistakes the guilt in my last moments  will be a fair punishment for me.

 

Or maybe I will spend an entire night in a cemetery. Actually it is not that scary. Recently I had to visit a cemetery. But of course I was not alone then. Now I want to be alone. I want to see whether the worldly sorrows and pleasures have really so much effect that even after the body which has endured suffering is gone our souls cling to those emotions? Or life is really so precious that people cannot get enough of it?

   

Posted by Meghan at 12:53:02 | Permalink | Comments (7)